No one feels confident all of the time, but sometimes you need to appear more confident than you feel. You might be on a date, have a job interview, or attending a company function. As a life long performer I have had to master the art of the audition which can be a painstaking process I would not wish upon anyone! But even if you don’t have to sing 12 bars of an acappella aria, there are times it can be helpful to appear confident, even if you’re feeling anything but. Here are a couple of things you can do to appear confident.
Try these tips to convince the world you’re confident, even if you’re shaking in your boots:
- Maintain good eye contact. Consider where confident people look while you’re engaged in a conversation with them. They aren’t looking at their feet or gazing around the room. They look you in the eye. This isn’t a staring contest, but look the other person in the eye the majority of the time. This creates connection and makes you appear more outwardly present instead of falling deep inside of your self.
- Stand or sit up straight. Confident people don’t slouch. Stand tall and proud. The same goes for sitting. People that lack confidence slouch and try to appear as small as possible. Be tall and make people notice. Elongating the spine as well as opening up the chest and shoulders gives you a more open body language and makes you more approachable.
- Keep your hands out of your pockets. This will reduce fidgeting. Showing your hands also shows confidence. Keep your hands where others can see them. Use your hands to gesture and remember to keep your body language open and accessible.
- Avoid fidgeting. Your hands don’t have to be in your pockets to fidget. Avoid picking at your clothes, your face, or your hands. This is a sure sign of nervousness. That crinkly piece of paper with your notes? Put it down! It is only a distraction for you and your audience.
- Smile. You’re happy and confident, so smile! Smiling puts others at ease. It puts you at ease, too. So many times I see speakers droning on with a long look on their face… if you are happy, be sure to tell your face!
- Walk confidently. Watch movies to see how a confident person walks. Be intentional about your direction. Take purposeful strides. Keep your body language open and upright. Look like you have someplace to go without looking like you need to get there in a hurry.
- Speak slowly. Does James Bond speak quickly? No. He takes his time and enjoys the attention. Confident people have been shown to speak more slowly than the average person. Nervous people tend to speak more quickly. Slow down and take your time. Look at a second hand on a clock or your watch for 60 seconds and slow your breath to calibrate your self in time. People will assume you’re confident if you slow down and have a purposeful meter to your speech.
- Unfold your arms. When you fold your arms, it looks like you’re trying to protect yourself. It is a defensive stance. There’s nothing to fear, so unfold your arms, be tall, and smile. Open yourself up with your body language and your energy. Just allow your arms to hang naturally by your side.
- Keep your head up. There’s nothing interesting going on down on the floor. This is the human version of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. If you’re committed to appearing to be confident, keep your head up. By the way, an ostrich only sticks its head in the sand to check on its eggs not to avoid being seen by other birds!
- Speak at a reasonable volume. When you’re feeling shy, you’re likely to speak too softly. It’s better to be a little too loud than a little too soft if you’re trying to appear confident. Breathe deeply and intentionally into the diaphragm and support the breath by engaging your core.
- Use gestures when you speak. Gesture naturally when you’re speaking. Watch your favorite actor for tips. Just ensure they’re playing a confident role!
- Tell yourself that you’re confident. Repeat to yourself, “I am confident and powerful.” Keep repeating it to yourself. It will crowd out other thoughts, and you might even believe yourself. Try out a few affirmations and see which one makes you feel the best. DOWNLOAD my FREE eBook “The power of positive affirmations for success and happiness” if you would like some more assistance with this.
You can convince others that you’re feeling confident, even if you’re not. Adopt the mannerisms of someone that is confident, and you’ll look confident to the rest of the world. Tell yourself you’re a confident person. Pretend you’re confident and you’ll start feeling that way. This is the fake it ’til you make it theory. Don’t worry. If you adopt some of these super tips you will feel and appear more confident in no time at all!
I hope you will think about some of these super tips to get you through those times when you may not feel 100% confident. If I can be of service to you in anyway by helping you to get out of your own way, freeing your voice or activating your most powerful presence please do not hesitate to contact me!
Also remember to DOWNLOAD my FREE eBook “The power of positive affirmations for success and happiness” for further assistance.
In love and light,