How to build your self esteem by doing your thing.
On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your self esteem? Is it easy for you to be loud and proud and share with others your opinion? You work? How about your personal needs or preferences? Does your environment and home reflect who you are as a person? It is worth considering.
Take a deep breath.
Now I want you to Ask yourself: Who are you trying to impress? Take just a moment and think about it. What is the first thing that pops into your mind? Your family? Your significant other? Your second grade teacher? If the answer is anyone but yourself then you need to stop seeking approval from others and begin to enjoy greater self-esteem by doing your own thing.
Approval-seeking behavior is self-sabotaging. It is exactly the opposite of being authentic. If you are seeking approval outside of yourself you are not paying attention to your inner voice, the voice of your authentic self. Besides, trying to impress others is exhausting and minimizes your own importance and individuality. The only person that you need to impress is yourself.
So if authenticity is one of your core values do you see how you would feel conflicted or like you were hiding something? Is the thing that you are hiding from others your SELF?
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Free yourself from the need to receive approval from others:
- Speak up. Share your opinion. One symptom of approval-seeking behavior is the hesitance to share your own opinion. You worry that you might say something that the other person doesn’t like or doesn’t approve of and since it was your opinion, they might not approve of you either.
- Give your opinion, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Start with smaller things. Do you think it will rain? Do you prefer red or white? Which movie would you like to see? Vanilla or chocolate?
- Avoid judging others. If you’re busy in your head being overly critical of others, you are not being fully present with what is going on before you. In this autopilot state of being it’s only natural that you assume others are the same towards you. This will tie you up in a knot. By training yourself to avoid this type of behavior, you’ll be less likely to make a negative assumption that everyone else is judging you. This strategy frees everyone up. Allow others to be as they are. It makes life more interesting. Sit back and enjoy the differences.
- Notice your thoughts. Are you constantly judging others in a variety of situations?
- Instill a habit to uplift and inspire others to find their way event if it is different than your own. Celebrate differences and perspective and watch the flow open up in your life.
- Beware of energetic manipulation and how you allow it. Realize that others can use disapproval can be used as a weapon. Many people use disapproval as a means of getting what they want. They may disapprove of your opinion, clothing, hairstyle, or anything else to enjoy the fruits of your submission. This is a form of energetic manipulation and once you become aware of the pattern it is up to you to break the cycle.
- Call people on their disapproval of you. It is important that you stand up for yourself. Ask them to explain themselves if you are unclear about their stance. Remember that most negative people are looking for a victim, not a fight. When you stick up for yourself, many of the bullies disappear.
- Knowing this can free you from seeking the approval of others. In many cases, they’re just in the game for themselves.
- Be aware of what happens when someone disapproves of you. Nothing happens. We seem to be born with an intense desire to fit in. But what actually happens when someone disapproves of you? The sky doesn’t fall on top of you. You might suffer from a little anxiety or embarrassment, but it passes. You are best served by learning energy tools to call back your energy to yourself and re-train negative thoughts in a more productive direction
- Do some things for yourself. If you’re constantly seeking approval, you’re not taking very good care of yourself. Adopt a daily practice of RADICAL Self Care. Show yourself that you’re important by focusing some of your time and energy on yourself. It might be a little bit uncomfortable at first. You might even feel selfish.
- Make a date with yourself and schedule it in your calendar and honor it as an important obligation. This is sacred time for yourself and you are building a relationship with yourself. It is important that you know you are a priority in your life.
- Fill your life with things that are important. If you had to run across the street naked to save your dog’s life, you wouldn’t be worried about anyone’s opinion. That’s because your dog’s life is more important than your ego. But you don’t need a disaster to experience this.
- Volunteer with an organization that’s doing important work in an area that you are passionate about.
- Write a book that you believe will change peoples lives for the better.
- Find ways to spend your time and energy on things you value.
By filling your life with people, activities and things that you value and are passionate about you will feel more ease in all areas of your life. You’ll find that you enjoy more freedom, more joy and genuine contentment in the other, less important, parts of your life.
Being overly concerned about the opinions of others is damaging to your self-esteem. Each time you seek approval outside of yourself, you’re diminishing your own self importance. Your opinion matters. Allow your individuality to be seen and experienced by others. Remember the old adage: “What other people think of you is none of your business.” It is only by embodying and aligning your highest self that you can feel the sense of approval you are searching for.